before the year ended. Hale said Monday that Koch could also

In 2014 my younger sister Kirsten passed away. It was a hard time for me and my family, so I left diving for about a month, just to be with my family.It wasnt difficult to turn my back on diving at that time. I wasnt really thinking about anything other than being with my family. We were just trying to be there for each other and help each other move past her passing; not necessarily get through it -- because you never really get through it -- but just being there for each other when we needed it.It was hard even thinking about ever doing anything again; life isnt the same. It feels like time stops and a part of you doesnt want to keep moving forward and you dont want to do anything. How can you do anything without that person there, when theyve been there your whole life?I couldnt comprehend ever being able to keep going without Kirsten there. I didnt really think about diving at all.I couldnt imagine moving forward or doing anything after her passing; I just felt really confused. I feel like part of you dies, and youre not the same anymore. But to have something to help you take your mind off it and give you a reason to keep going, is really important, I think.After about a month out of diving, I decided to go back and see how Id go. Realistically, I started using it as a distraction; a way to keep my mind off things and almost help me get through her passing.I wasnt really thinking about competitions. I just wanted to get back into doing something that would keep my mind from constantly thinking...It was really good to put everything into something again.You need a lot of concentration in diving, so at training it was hard for little things outside of diving to creep into my mind. Ive always been a really focused athlete, so diving became a place where I could give my mind a bit of a break.Kirstens passing is always going to be hard; theres never a time when Im not thinking about it, and sometimes its really hard to pull myself out of that dark place. You want to be there for your family, but its hard.Returning to diving wasnt necessarily hard, because every day is hard. At the beginning, diving was a break for my mind to stop thinking about some of those dark thoughts; everything was a bit of a struggle, but it was nice to have something else to think about.From that time in my life through to now, and probably forever ... its just been hard in general, and I dont think it will ever get easier.I dont know if the way I grieved was the right or wrong way, but I can understand why people bury themselves in work because I feel that Ive almost done that by going back to diving. It gave me an appreciation for diving because I sort of understand that life is short, but at the same time I dont know if thats just me trying to make my way through it.I had the time with my family, but it almost seemed as though we decided to go back to the things we were doing. I dont necessarily think that period of grieving time is over; I feel like we almost havent dealt with it.I find it really hard to think about it still; if I think about it too much I find it really hard to deal with. So diving has become my distraction; maybe that isnt a good thing, but for my family and me that was the only way I could keep going. I dont think I was going to be able to function otherwise if I didnt keep myself moving or throwing myself into projects. If it wasnt diving, it would have been something else just to keep my mind occupied.But were all still happy; everything we still achieve -- me with my diving, and weightlifting for my brother and sister -- were really happy for each other. But I think weve all definitely used the things that we love to help keep us moving forward.When I go to competitions, I definitely feel like Kirsten helps me through. I dont really believe in seeing any signs of her, but I just know in the heart that shes there looking out for me and the family.There are some moments, when good things happen in the family, when my siblings perform well in competitions, I just really wish I could share them with her -- not just for me, but for my family.For my family and me, we have little things that help us remember her.Kirsten had these stuffed bunnies that she loved; they were really soft, and she never used to like people touching them -- because she wanted them in pristine condition. We all have matching ones now; I think I have about three of them. I keep two in pristine condition, and one of them I take around with me everywhere.I keep a little photo frame of a picture of Kirsten and me, and they -- the frame and the toy -- sit on my bedside table, and I take them everywhere I go.Theyll both definitely be joining me in Rio. When I wake up each day, shell be the first thing I see. Felix Gotze Bayern Munich Jersey . First off, the fans ripped the Cubbies introduction of a fuzzy new kid-friendly mascot named "Clark". Patrick Weihrauch Jersey . Goals from Jerome Boateng, Franck Ribery and Thomas Mueller extended Bayerns unbeaten run to a record 37 matches. "This record is incredible," Bayern coach Pep Guardiola said. http://www.soccerfcbayernshop.com/kids-robert-lewandowski-bayern-munich-jersey/ . Thats about all he can do right now, so hes trying not to think about when he might be able to play again for the Los Angeles Lakers. Jerome Boateng Jersey . Hamelin, who triumphed in the 500 on Saturday, edged out Victor An of Russia by 0.021 seconds to maintain his lead in the World Cup standings. Russias Vladimir Grigorev was third. In the relay, Canada took control six laps from the finish line to beat Russia and the Netherlands. Tom Starke Jersey . Pierce was ejected in the third quarter of Indianas 103-86 win Monday. George Hill stole a bad pass and was going in for a layup, and Pierce hustled back and appeared to be trying to wrap him up. WASHINGTON -- Washington right-hander Max Scherzer will start Tuesday against the Arizona Diamondbacks with a chance to win 20 games this season.He is 18-7 in his second season with the Nationals but Scherzer will also be tuning up for a postseason start, something he did not get to do in his first season in Washington.Scherzer, if he stayed on schedule, would pitch Sunday in the regular-season finale at home against the Miami Marlins. And five days later he would be ready to pitch Game 1 of the National League Division Series against the Los Angeles Dodgers.You are getting your workload in, Scherzer said Monday of his approach to getting ready for the playoffs. The consistency, pitching at your best is vital.Scherzer won 8-3 in Arizona on Aug. 3 in his only outing against the Diamondbacks this year. The St. Louis native made his big league debut in 2008 with Arizona. In his last outing in Miami, Scherzer went 6 2/3 innings and gave up three runs.The Nationals have clinched the National League East title while the last-place Diamondbacks are trying to play spoiler. They did so Monday with a 14-4 win as Washington tries to nail down the second-best record in the league.Arizona, which was swept by playoff hopeful Baltimore over the weekend, will send rookie Matt Koch to the mound on Tuesday in Washington.Let see what he can do against a really good team, said Chip Hale, the Arizona manager.The Diamondbacks could have pitched Patrick Corbin on Tuesday. But Hale said the organization has been pleased with Corbin, who has made 24 starts.We feel excited about what Patrick has donee, Hale said.ddddddddddddKoch has made five appearances out of the bullpen as a rookie this year for Arizona and is 1-1 with a 1.29 ERA. Hale said he hopes Koch can go at least 75 pitches.Hale said the Diamondbacks brain trust wanted a chance to see Koch make a start before the year ended. Hale said Monday that Koch could also start the regular-season finale on Sunday.That most likely means the season is over for veteran right-hander Zack Greinke, who has had shoulder woes.It would be hard for me to believe he would start Sunday, Hale said of Greinke. Why push it at this point.Washington clinched the East title on Saturday.They are a really good team, Hale said of the Nationals. You get to test your players. It is a team that will play in October.The Nationals, who lost Bryce Harper to a thumb injury Sunday, got more bad news Monday when catcher Wilson Ramos left the game in the top of the sixth inning with a right knee injury. Baker said an MRI will be done on Tuesday.He does not look too good tonight, Baker said. You could tell he was in pain. There is a little concern when you lose a guy of that caliber. I feel badly.Baker said X-rays came back negative on Harper. The Nationals are also without MVP candidate Daniel Murphy and right-handed starter Stephen Strasburg. Baker feels Murphy will be ready for the playoffs but that is far from certain for Strasburg. Nobody is going to feel sorry for you, Baker said. Next man up. It is another obstacle. ' ' '